Moms Gone Wild

by Darlene Fiske

Fun in the surf. Dig the nipples. Photo: Nationaal Archief / Flickr Creative Commons

When mom's on vacation and son has a lice crisis which dad solves with a razor, let's hope mom has a margarita within easy reach.

I would bet my vintage Pucci that no one reading this has ever, while sipping a frozen margarita in poolside reverie, received a text containing a photo of her newly shaven, completely bald seven-year-old son. The image still inspires nightmares for me and the two mom friends I was with. I'll spare you the image. You're welcome.

But I'm partly to blame. Because moms need time off too, when I'm away, it's dad's way or no way. And the decisions he makes are the best ones at that moment. (Love you, honey!) It's our deal, and it works.

So when this mom need to be reachable, relaxed, and in a good state of mind for the inevitable disasters that will ensue at home while I'm gone, these are my favorite and easy getaways.

When Your Son Has Lice: Las Vegas

Let's hope this never happens to you like it did to me when I was at Wynn Las Vegas. Instead of performing a painstaking "treatment" on our child's head, my husband decided to just shave his hair off. All of it. The beloved husband claimed that the infestation was so bad, it was the only option. When I heard the news, my head started itching immediately, and I dashed for the nearest bathroom, followed closely by my even more beloved pal, who stood on a toilet and bravely inspected my scalp. All clear. After that mayhem, we had to escape to the Encore Spa, one of the top-rated spas in the country. Needless to say, the scalp massage never felt so good.

When Your Son Can't Fall Asleep: South Padre Island, Texas

I love a good beach trip with the girls. Soaking up cancer rays and Vitamin D; sand between your toes; playing Depeche Mode, Pit Bull, and Janet Jackson. Not worrying about being judged for your musical taste or your polka-dot bikini. It's all great, until the "emergencies" happen. Husband calls (not mine) from grocery store to ask where the butter is located. Son calls (mine) because he can't sleep and he doesn't think he can fall asleep unless I drive 292 miles back to San Antonio and rescue him from Grandpa's house. (Not happening.) Good thing moms can search for beach condos with big balconies and patios: They'll need a nice perch when they're talking their sons and husbands off the ledge. We stayed at Suntide III on South Padre Island, and the staff put out beach chairs and umbrellas for us daily. I recommend tossing your worries out the window as you drive over the bridge to the island and ordering beach munchies at Wanna Wanna. Sandy feet, mom-kinis, and sunburns are welcome here. If you really want to embrace your inner rebel, stop at Peggy's (1600 Padre Blvd.,+1-956-761-6595) for a temporary tattoo.

When Everything Goes Smoothly: Chicago

I love a quickie. One night is plenty when you're a road warrior. A fellow PR colleague and mom friend and I were invited to speak about social media networking at a conference in Chicago, and W Chicago City Center was oh so good to us. Our beds were heavenly perfection; our bathroom was so large we could have hosted an ‘80s dance party in the shower. We spent the day before our presentation window shopping (and drooling) on Oak Street and the evening at two amazing local spots: The Aviary  for drinks and The Girl and the Goat for dinner. Our W Insider, Laurelin, snagged a great reservation; I'd go back just for her outstanding service. Or maybe I could hire her as my nanny to comb nits and sing sweet lullabies to my child.


The Mother of All India Trips

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