From Yoga to Yellowtail, Indulge All the Senses at Sensei Porcupine Creek

A spa without the sacrifice? Can it be? Screenwriter Deborah Schoeneman went to the California desert and found nirvana.

The idea of wellness retreats has always made me a little anxious.

Will I have to get daily colonics?

Or hike all day with a “reward” of a few almonds for dessert?

Would I be strongly discouraged from leaving the property and forced to make friends with strangers, some who may be tabloid fixtures?

Is alcohol forbidden?

These are real things that happen at spas in Southern California friends have invited me to. No thanks!

And then, on the other hand, there's Sensei Porcupine Creek. The luxury retreat on Larry Ellison’s former Rancho Mirage estate is my actual escape fantasy come to life: a beautiful place close to my home in Los Angeles with amazing food and lots of exercise options. I get that this is not everyone’s idea of a fun time, but it is mine.

A few weeks before my arrival, I filled out forms and had a Zoom consultation with a member of the support team to assess my goals and interests, even my allergies, which only include latex. I mentioned it for yoga mat purposes, but the dining staff kept bringing it up before meals – just one example of the level of attention to details.

The staff used all this information to customize my three days in The Sensei Way, a program developed by Dr. David Agus, Ellison’s partner in the retreat and its sister property in Hawaii, Sensei Lanai, a Four Seasons Resort.

At the last minute, my friend Emily agreed to join me, and we made some resolutions on the drive to Palm Springs. For one, we wouldn’t drink alcohol because we’ve been getting all the memos about how it’s terrible for our health. No dessert either. Sugar is the devil! Forget those past girls’ weekends of getting wasted and feeling like shit when we got back to our jobs and kids. We were middle-aged ladies now, and we were going to be virtuous.

We started off pretty damn virtuous. I had a meditation session where I mostly napped. It was very relaxing. Then I had a thermal mapping of my body, which revealed red spots where I was tense or had extra blood flow. That included my neck, my hips, and, weirdly, my stomach — even though they all felt totally fine. A masseuse studied this map and gave me an incredible massage, so I stopped asking questions about it.

After that, I met Emily by the beautiful pool, surrounded by palm trees and waterfalls with koi fish. The desert sunset turned the sky pink, inspiring us to order rose wine to make the happier hour even happier. Resolutions are made to be broken, right? We felt zero judgment about it.

We compared our thermal maps. Not to be competitive, but Emily never exercises and has zero red spots. I exercise every day and have tons. It makes no sense, but we couldn’t have cared less.

After a perfect Nobu dinner with just one small bottle of sake and a chocolate soufflé dessert, we sank into our zillion-thread-count sheets and slept soundly for a solid nine hours.

This never happens at home.

In the morning, we went on a steep, two-mile hike where we saw views of a spectacular private 18-hole golf course that would dazzle any golf aficionado. We know nothing about golf, but we were impressed by the sculptures, including some by Keith Haring.

After that, we headed to the clay tennis courts for a cardio tennis session with an excellent pro who ran us around the court as she gave us high-level instruction. We were rewarded for our efforts with cold beverages and great snacks. In fact, great snacks were everywhere: small pieces of freeze-dried tropical fruits and frozen grapes, the good kind of coconut water, matcha chocolates, and red lentil chips, which I didn’t even know were a thing.

By then we were starving and eager to wolf down lunch. We had a sensory eating experience booked with the resident nutritionist, Brooke, who has the most perfect teeth I’ve ever seen. Maybe because she uses them sparingly? She tried to get us to slow down and enjoy all the scents and tastes of our delicious bento box lunch. She even offered tricks to help us savor our meal, like using our left hand to hold chopsticks or a fork. We promised to try it at home. (Fun fact: Brooke's grandmother was conservationist Minerva Hoyt, the woman largely responsible for preserving Joshua Tree as a National Park). 

Lunch was followed by a sound bath where we dozed and enjoyed cymbals, gongs, and drums. Then I took a really great vinyasa yoga class. Emily bowed out: She had hit her wellness wall and wanted to hang out by the pool scrolling through her phone. Fair enough.

Dinner was a fantastic omakase at a real-deal Nobu sushi bar. We did not use our left hand for anything. Sorry, Brooke! We were only slowed down by the pace of the sushi chef preparing the food for us at a pretty quick clip. We also had two bottles of sake because, well, YOLO.

It was one of the best meals of my life, and it was made even better knowing we had exercised all day and could eat anything we wanted guilt-free. While that may not be the official purpose of Sensei, we were finding our purpose here, and we were hooked.

The next day, we took another great yoga class. Emily bailed early because she wanted to get back to doing nothing by the pool. I had a fitness assessment with bio markers, followed by a challenging training session in the lovely fitness pavilion where the view of palm trees mitigates some of the pain-for-gain. Turns out I have more muscle mass than 98 percent of women my age, and this validation made me love this place even more. I also got good fitness tips, like using heavier weights and making sure I ate protein right after workouts.

Emily left a day before me, and I enjoyed being alone in a very fancy resort where I felt like the only guest. It was particularly quiet midweek during the off season, but because Sensei only has 21 rooms and more than 200 acres, it never really gets crowded. I enjoyed doing almost nothing until I took an early evening swim in the saline pool, followed by a jacuzzi session.

Why had I waited all day to do anything active outside? Well, it was 112 degrees, an increasingly common situation in the desert. But here’s the thing: It didn’t even matter. It was just one big sauna that made me feel great — like everything at Sensei.

Sensei At a Glance

The Vibe: A luxury desert oasis with virtuous indulgences.

Standout Detail: Great practitioners. Highly trained and pleasant staff include yoga teachers, tennis and golf pros, trainers and nutritionists, massage therapists and meditation teachers.

This Place Is Perfect For: Anyone. Go solo, with a friend or a partner. If a couple has only one golfer, the partner would be very happy doing other activities. There’s something for everyone, even those who only want to read by the pool.

Rooms: Only 21 rooms. Accommodations range from upscale hotel rooms to four-bedroom private homes. Quiet, sumptuous, with great amenities and top-tier service. 

Onsite Offerings: The extensive programming revolves around three magic words: Move, Nourish, and Rest. Sensei offers three- and five-day wellness packages with custom programming, though you could experience a lot in two days, the minimum stay. You could also stay for a month-long sabbatical if you have a lot of time and money. There’s a beautiful pool and jacuzzi, treatment rooms, a yoga studio, a gym, clay tennis courts, and a truly spectacular golf course.

Pro Tip: Group classes are significantly less expensive than private sessions. In the off season, group lessons often default to privates because there are fewer guests.

Food & Drink: It’s all about Nobu. It’s the only restaurant, but why would you want anything else? The sushi bar is incredible, with fish flown in daily from Japan. Breakfast offerings include staples like avocado toast and chia pudding, as well as smoked salmon sashimi on crispy rice cakes. Unlike many wellness retreats, Sensei encourages enjoying everything from cocktails to dessert, while also providing abundant healthy snacks and cold beverages.

When To Go: The weather is best from November until April, but the rates are also the highest and it’s the hardest time to book. Although it can be insanely hot during the shoulder season — up to about 120 degrees! — it’s very peaceful when it’s less occupied, and there’s plenty to do in the air conditioning. You just have to get your outdoor activities done before breakfast and after dusk.

What To Do Nearby: Palm Springs is about a half hour away, but you probably won’t want to leave the property. However, it’s worth driving five minutes to Avant, a new longevity clinic run by esteemed local doctor Brian Herman. They offer CTA coronary scans, genomic tests, and the grail blood test to detect cancers, among other cutting-edge procedures backed by actual science. 

How To Get There: It’s about a 2.5 hour drive from Los Angeles and San Diego or a 20-minute drive from the Palm Springs airport.